The idea to do a small study on marriage topics came from a conversation I had with a few people. I have never written anything of this extent, but I’m hoping you’ll get some useful information out of this. Keep in mind, these are only my opinions.
"A merry heart does good, like medicine"
A successful marriage is like a good recipe whose main ingredients are love, commitment, understanding, concern and toge
therness. It is meeting your soul mate and the saga of falling in love over and over again. Feel the thrill of being in love ... experience the magic of sharing and caring. Marriage is just not a social ritual but a lot more. It is that holy fastener which not only braids two individuals but unites two souls in the most vibrant way. Marriage is therefore just not only the idea of finding the right person to face the cloudy and clumsy weather in life together but is also an effort of being that right person to share, care and above all to LOVE,.
The following thoughts will help keep you focused on developing a healthy, happy marriage –
1. Commit “till death do us part” — you have made a vow to God and to another much-loved human being. [Editor's note from Marriage Missions: Make the vow with each other not to let the word "divorce" be a part of your vocabulary or even your inner thoughts or it will start eroding away at your marital relationship.]
- Dream together—look forward to things
- Be loyal to your mate at all costs
- Care more about what your mate thinks of you than what your friends do
2. Develop a common spiritual commitment
- Pray for your mate regularly
- Pray together regularly
- Worship together
3. Want what is best for your life mate
- Focus on what’s right with your mate, not what’s wrong with him/her
- Work as a team—rely on each other’s strength
- Serve your mate
4. Spend time with model couples who have been happily married ten to twenty years longer than you
- Develop a relationship with a personal mentor to help you when times are tough, giving you wise counsel
- Spend time with peer couples that have healthy, happy marriages
5. Understand that no marriage is perfect and no partner is perfect. Give grace to be different
- No one wants to fail. Your mate is doing the best he/she can at the moment
- Don’t take all emotional explosions personally. Sometimes your mate just needs to let off steam!
- Let the relationship breathe. A couple needs time together and away. When things get tense, you may just need a few hours or days away
6. Cooperate and compromise:
- Adjustment is needed in almost every sphere of life and when it comes to marital relationship – ‘’adjustment’’, ‘’cooperation’’ and above all ‘’compromising’’ becomes a necessary part
- Never impose; accept your partner the way he/she is after all at the day’s end you have to adjust to make yourself and your partner happy
7. Find time to communicate—walking on the beach, telephoning, traveling together
- Communicating your heart:
- Listen to your mate’s heart, not just to words
- Let your mate vent emotions without feeling you have to “fix it”!
- Don’t pout; stay and talk it out
- “Clarify” your concerns if you don’t like to “confront.”
- Listen carefully. Allow the other to complete his/her thoughts without you interrupting, moving off the subject, or waiting impatiently to make your point
8. Admiration:
- Few things boost self-esteem or make people want to succeed in the truly important things of life more than hearing that their good qualities are noticed and admired
- Sharpen your appreciation of the wonderful person you married, and watch him or her become even more wonderful.
- To make your marriage all it can be, dwell on each other's good qualities and always look for ways to bring out the best in each other
9. Develop common interests
- Enjoy hobbies and friends
- Do fun things together—concerts, plays, picnics
- Travel together whenever you get a chance
10. Get to know your mate at the deepest level possible
- Study your mate—what turns her/him off and on sexually, nonverbal signals, foreplay, moods, cycles, etc.
- Know precisely what your mate needs from you.
11. Avoid:
- Negative kidding—saying negative things you don’t really mean that secretly hurt and do serious damage to one’s confidence and one’s natural love;
- Conditional love—basing love on actions of any kind;
- Waiting for your mate to meet your needs before you will meet hers/his;
- Talking negatively about your mate’s parents.
12. Be romantic, not just sexy
- Splurge occasionally.
- Do small things which communicate “Thinking only of you… Thought of you while I was away… You are the center of my universe!”
- Start foreplay 10 minutes after climax, not ten minutes before climax
- Talk with a loving, caring, tender tone in your voice, not an angry, harsh, bitter tone
Above all, wake up each morning and remember how lucky you are to have a loving partner to share your life with. And every night, let him or her know that you still feel that way before going to sleep. It’s a wonderful way to end their day!
PS: Would love to see all of your valuable inputs in this topic (will help me as well :D )
As Always,
I invite YOU to Live Joyfully!
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